Ditching the Hag Look and a Poorly Thought-out List on New York

Workout: THE CORE

It's been a while since I've done THE CORE (two weeks, maybe?) so it kind of kicked my ass. I just haven't had time for much more than my prescribed mileage, which sucks. I thought I saw the hint of a bulge! A BULGE, guys! That was short-lived. Tomorrow I've got 3.5 miles on the docket, so that's... well, that's a declarative statement, that's what it is. And a very boring one at that.

You'll be shocked to hear I didn't leave my house looking like a dirty hag this morning. I washed myself, blow-dried my hair (it was literally the second time I've done that in four months), and I even looked like I was wearing lipstick because my lips were so chapped! Yes, a lady indeed. I've completely given up on my appearance since I left New York (let's face it-it's probably been more like a year), so this was nice.

Those used to be bangs.

Speaking of New York, today marks four months since my departure. I'm not going to do some big reflection piece on what my life's become and how my time in New York "made me who I am", but here's a list of things that sucked hard and things that sucked slightly less hard (okay, things I may have actually enjoyed):

Things that sucked hard:

-SO F*$#ING HOT

-SO F#($ING HUMID

-SO MANY F032ING PEOPLE

-related to SO MANY F%^@ING PEOPLE, NOT ENOUGH F^*@ING SLEEP

-trash

-everything about MTA

-not having enough money, time, or energy to actually do the interesting things New Yorkers are supposed to spend every waking moment doing

-the irrational but constant fear that an airplane was going to crash into me

on the other hand...

Things that sucked slightly less hard:

-easy access to other places (you rock, Lucky Star!)

-Royale burger with bacon and blue cheese (or if we're being pretentious, "bleu")

-halal stands as far as the eye can see

-food delivery

-pizza (are you sensing a theme?)

-feeling safe (I mean this sincerely)

-bars that don't seem to have a closing time

-Central Park. Although not a "real wilderness" (no matter how many people try to tell you this, IT IS NOT TRUE. YOU CANNOT GO HIKING IN CENTRAL PARK), it is still pretty cool, as are the paths along the East/Hudson river

-did I mention easy access to other places?

So there you have it. I am so happy to be out of that hellhole, but I guess I'm glad I lived in there for a while and lived to tell the tale. Am I the only person on earth who hates New York? Probably. Does hating it mean that I'm a bad American? I don't think so, but I'm sure plenty of people would say that I am. I'm also a fickle asshole, though, so who cares what I think anyway?