Lazy Run Turned Awesome

Workout: 3 very hungover miles on a track

I rarely regret going for a run, and today's 3 miles were no exception. I was feeling a bit... under the weather before the run, and convincing myself to run was a huge struggle. I compromised with myself, however (I'm so accommodating!), and decided I would wear my Merrells

because running in them is way easier than in my other shoes. Note to anyone interested in minimalist running: these are not really minimalist shoes. They're not bad compared to, say, these shoes, but the ground feel is pretty terrible and there's quite a bit of arch support. That said, I feel like I'm floating when I wear these because they make running so effortless.

I also decided I would run around the track near my apartment so I could zone out and run with my eyes closed. No, I'm not kidding; I shut my eyes for about ten steps and then opened them to make sure I was going in a straight line before shutting them again. Like I said, hungover and tired as balls.

Hungover! Tired! Balls!

As soon as I got outside, though, I could tell it was going to be a fast run. I kept it easy and didn't let myself get out of breath, but I felt like I had speed lines streaming out behind me. I checked my phone a few minutes later and saw I was running sub-9:00 miles and still felt like I was hardly working at all. A normal easy-run pace for me is around 10:00 or 10:15. It was awesome. My average pace ended up being 8:57. I didn't realize I would be that much faster in my Merrels. Makes it tempting to train in them more often, although then I'd lose all the speed benefits of training my Run Amocs (plus running in those is so much fun!). I'll probably end up racing in them, though. That would be an easy way to knock a few minutes off my time.

Running on a track is about as exciting as watching paint dry, but it wasn't too bad tonight. The apartments on one side of the track are so nice.

Every time I passed them I tried to think of how to find a guy who makes enough money to buy me one of those. Never mind the fact that I don't like New York all that much; those apartments are nice.

There was a soccer game going on, which was nice to watch, although as I mentioned, I spent much of the run with my eyes shut.

The three miles went by in a jiffy and I walked home as a sort of cool-down. Not that you really need a cool-down after a workout like that, but the weather was absolutely beautiful today and I wanted to enjoy it a bit longer. Plus, I knew I had calculus homework waiting for me at home, so I was not eager to get back. Little did I know (well, not really-I knew), I wasn't going to do calc when I got home. Instead I'm writing about my magnificent run. Homework can wait. The masses must know every intimate detail about my run! Speaking of readership, I have almost 100 views now. I'm pretty sure most of them are from some spam advertising website. I'll take it!

Royale on the LES has the best burgers I've ever tasted. A Royale with bleu cheese (emphasis on the bleeeeu) and bacon will make you piss yourself with joy.

Times are Tough

I should know by now that scheduling runs on Sunday is not a good idea. I'm not going to give it a try for another 6 hours or so. Maybe by then my alcohol-ravaged body will be able to get its sh-t together for 3 miles. Off to attempt to soak up any residual alcohol with greasy brunch food. These are trying times.

The biggest tragedy of last night: buying fries at 4:30 a.m., only to spill them all over the subway platform before getting to eat even a single one. Made up for it by killing a bag of salt and vinegar chips. Not a small bag.

Santacon Fail

Workout: 9 miles in Central Park

It's a glorious day, I have a computer charger again! Took long enough. Although now I don't have an excuse for doing my calculus homework. UGH. But that's what Sunday's for, right?

Anyway, I ran nine spectacular miles this morning in Central Park. Major Santacon fail, though. My friend told me it was in Central Park (pretty sure it was last year?), but the whole hour and a half I was there I didn't see a single Santa. Turns out it's down by the seaport? Meh. Even without the Santa clusterf-ck, it was a nice view. Weather was great today! I was too bundled up when I set off, but I took off my outer layer and was fine.

I did a loop around the driveway that goes around the whole park. Not sure what that's called... East/West Drive? Remember all that stuff I said about the North woods not being that hilly? Well, I still stand by that statement, although I will say that nine miles on those hills was kind of hard. I was also running at about a 9:45 pace, which is reasonably fast for me. Then I went to the Mac store!

Okay, need to cut this one short-I just decided to go see Twilight. Omg puke gross. But actually, I love Twilight. Not the movies, but whatever. I owned a life-size Edward Cullen senior year in college. Of course it ended up with a dart through its head and being ripped to pieces, but I paid $40 for that sucker. Anyway, I'm out of here.

To Santa Con, or Not to Santa Con?

Workout: 3.1 miles, 10 minutes tempo

Big shocker, I ran yesterday. On a treadmill again. It was delightful. I was the only person in the gym so belted out a bit of Beyonce, albeit very meekly (can you meekly belt? I can). I was slightly concerned that someone would walk in, and I am not the kind of person you would expect to belt when alone.

I started with a ten-minute warmup and then did a sort of tempo, although Hal Higdon's idea of a tempo run seems slightly different than what I've always done in the past. Reading it just now I realized I was supposed to gradually decrease my pace after hitting the peak. Oops. But for the pathetic ten-minute "tempo" part of my run, I started at 6.3 mph (9:30/mile) and increased my speed by .2 mph every 2 minutes. The last two minutes I was at 7.5 mph (8:00/mile). It felt surprisingly easy, probably because it was on a treadmill. I had the elevation at 1, though, which I've heard more closely mimics running outside. I did all of my kind-of speed work training for Annapolis running over the Williamsburg Bridge/north on First Ave, both of which are not flat, so maybe it has something to do with that. I'll take it.

I'm so happy to have a shower at my gym (and a gym at my work!). It's so nice to be able to shower there and then head off wherever I'm going. Like last night, destination: happy hour. I overdid it a bit, mostly because I was so thirsty and cider sounded so so good. Fortunately, today's a rest day. Carpe rest day.

Tomorrow I've got something like 9 miles on the docket, and I'm debating whether I should head over to Central Park to observe the ridiculousness that is Santa Con. On the one hand, it would be hilarious scenery (a big, drunken clusterf-ck Santa orgy), but on the other, there will be Santas (and likely vomit) everywhere, which may make it hard to run. But let's face it, I'll probably go check it out. Stay tuned.

Another Half

I signed up for a half marathon yesterday.

I’m paying $40 to run loops in Central Park, which makes perfect sense. I’m supposed to run 10 miles that day anyway and I’d like to race more so figured why not. I’d also like to see if I’m any faster. I probably won’t break 2 hours, but who knows? Crazier things have happened. Herman Cain, for example.

Yesterday I ran at the gym again. It really wasn’t that bad. I hate the treadmill, but it does have its uses. As long as I don’t have to be on it for more than 3 or 4 miles, I can deal with it. The main thing I like about it is being able to exactly control my speed. I was supposed to do 3 easy miles yesterday, but I’m trying to up my speed a bit and to do that, I can’t just do what feels easy to me. I need to be a bit uncomfortable, and if I do it enough, it will become comfortable. I just need to remind myself of that when I feel like stopping and launching myself off the back of the treadmill. Which, actually, would make for a pretty amusing video.

Anyway, I did 3 miles in my work’s gym during my lunch hour. 9:30 pace. Nothing notable happened, really, except that I was running next to a HWAB (hottie w/a body), and for about a mile we ran perfectly in sync. I’m pretty sure we’re dating now. But really, I don’t get how that happened. Remember when you were a kid and swinging in sync with a boy meant you were going to get married or something? Well, I reverted back to my 7-year-old self and tried to out-of-syncasize (that’s a phrase) myself. It didn’t work though. That’s how you know it’s true love. It was hot as hell in the gym, so I was a disgusting mess afterward. Fortunately for everyone everywhere, there are showers in the locker room.

The snow gods decided to spite me by sending a snowstorm through the Northeast and forgetting to stop in New York. Instead we got disgusting rain. It was a joy walking across the Central Park transverse and getting hit with a tidal wave each time a car passed.

A nice something that happened, though, was another HWAB offering me his umbrella. I don’t believe in umbrellas (too much of a hassle, always crashing into people’s heads, plus they blow inside-out all the time. Just get a raincoat, people), but I appreciated it nonetheless. I was listening to hot jams and felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned around all ready to assume my best karate pose, but the guy was actually just trying to me a favor. I almost accepted, actually, but then I got all crazy and was wondering what exactly he was offering. Was I supposed to share it with him and exchange pleasantries until he got to the subway and I continued on? Did he want me to take it? Was he trying to rob me? I am always very suspicious of people’s motives, but sometimes people just want to be nice. Thanks, HWAB.

I have a 30-minute tempo run on the schedule for today, which I think I’ll have to do after work. There’s a university-wide holiday party starting at 3:00, though, so I’ll have to convince myself not to gorge on food and drink before running. It’s not really a fair battle, but I’ll do my best.

Crazytown, Treadmill Hills, and Christmas Trees

Workout: 3 miles on TM, .75 miles on a bitch of an uphill

I felt like I was in the Twilight Zone today. My day started in a tiny, claustrophobic space-age tube and ended with a crazy man falling on me. I also ran after work and on a treadmill, which was probably the weirdest thing of all.

I went to get an MRI as part of a research study I'm doing through work. It has something to do with facial recognition, although I'm not sure what. What I do know is that it required me to remain ridiculously still for almost two hours and look at cute, young babies and baby animals and old, fat people. Apparently staying totally still in a tube for two hours makes you tired. In order to keep me awake, the evil scientists made me push a button every time the series of photos repeated. Little did they know (actually, they probably knew-I'm not that smart), I had figured out that it repeated every fifteen photos so I was a total boss and got to zone out a bit. But the study didn't have anything to do with me pushing a button, that was just a very necessary way to keep me awake. Anyway, I walked out $80 richer but a million times more tired, and I never really got over it.

Since I was too busy curing cancer in the morning, I ran after work. I always used to run in the evening until summer (hell) came and it was 100 degrees after work, but I've only run in the afternoon a couple of times since then so was interested to see how it would go. Well, it sucked. Kind of. I was starving by the time 6:00 rolled around (I stayed late since I had come in late) and felt on the verge of passing out, but I hauled myself upstairs to the gym and busted out a few miles on the treadmill. I was going to run outside, but all day I had heard (what turned out to be flat-out b.s.) rumors about torrential downpours, flooding, the apocalypse... and since I work in a basement, I didn't think to go check it out for myself. Because you care to know, the weather was totally fine.

However, running on the treadmill did have the added bonus of allowing me to make hills for myself. As I mentioned last week, Central Park's hills don't impress me, and I really wanted to get my as- kicked by an incline.

Goal: accomplished. I didn't know what a steep hill on a treadmill was, so I set it for 10. Wow. I was a little embarrassed by my heavy breathing. I sounded like I have a pack-a-day habit. I did a .75 mile warm-up and then did 2 1/2 minutes on a 10 incline followed by 2 1/2 minutes at a 2 incline. I repeated this 3 times then cooled down with a mile. I felt really good after I finished, even though I still feel like my breathing hasn't slowed down entirely. After my jog I did a couple of lifty things and then hit the road.

On my way to the train, I was verbally assaulted by a woman who shrieked "WHAT THE F-CK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!?!" before storming off, which made me feel totally awesome. And on the train, there was a normal, respectable-looking dude in a suit and tie, but he was either a) crazy, b) drunk, or c) both. Probably both. And on acid. The open fly should have been a dead giveaway, but I was trying to give him the benefit of the doubt. My goodwill quickly faded when he started yelling about wanting to get to Flatbush and singing about being on the crazy train. He also kept yelling questions on me. I pulled the "I can't hear you even though you're three feet from me and I accidentally made eye contact with you not once, but twice, so you know I know you know I know you're there" move and was going to switch cars at the next stop when some drummer dudes got on. They started playing and this guy immediately got up and started dancing. I have to admit, I was amused. So was everyone else. It was great until we got to Union Square and the dude fell right on top of me. Then I was just pissed. Like I said, it must be a full moon. Or whatever.

Because I've more than fulfilled my whining quota, here are pictures of happy things: Christmas trees!

Christmas tree at work.

This is Gary, our Christmas tree.

Shadows make for nice pictures.

I love Christmas. Now if only the weather gods would bless New York with some snow. Get on it!

Williamsburg Bridge (DOMSDOMSDOMS)

Workout: 3 easy miles on the Williamsburg Bridge

HOLY DOMS my thighs hurt this morning from the 'roiding I did on Friday. No joke. Even poking them with my finger is agonizing. I still managed to make it out the door, though, and for that I'm feeling preeeetty good about myself right now.

Feeling good in the same outfit I seem to wear every day.

At least the shirt is right-side out this time.

I don't own a lot of long-sleeve running shirts.

My workout wasn't anything too interesting, 3 slow miles on the Williamsburg Bridge. Williamsburg is sorely lacking in pretty places to run, or maybe (and this is more likely) I just don't know where these pretty places are. Prospect Park isn't practical because it takes me 40 minutes to get there on the G, and running there is really ugly (you pretty much spend the whole time under an underpass or along the BQE-classy). The Bridge is less than a mile away from me so I decided to head over there, because who doesn't like running over bridges? Oh wait, people who feel like this. But it's cool, I didn't actually sh-t myself, and I am nowhere near as strong/awesome as Julie Moss. But you get the idea.

Bridge Ho! I ran on the bicycle path instead of the pedestrian

path because I like to be in people's way.

This picture looks really dumb with those bars covering the scenery, but it was pretty.

When I was done I hit up a coffee place nearby and got an insanely big coffee to accompany my yogurt-fruit-something cluster Special K.

Christmastime has officially arrived in my apartment. We snatched up this sucker for $40.

I know, $40 is a sh-t ton for a tree. But whatever, it's got a tepee on top. One of my roommates randomly had a bag of totally un-PC cowboy and indian (Native American) plastic toys to decorate the tree with. We didn't spring for the noble fir, but this one still smells pretty good when you break a branch in half. My roommate also bought one of those plug-in smelly dealios that reeks of cinnamon, so I pretty much want to sit in our living room until the end of time.

I hit 50 views! And more views are American than Russian, so that's nice. Don't get me wrong, I love Russia and Russians, but it's nice to know that people who actually speak my language are looking at the blog. Huge prize to the first person who comments! And by huge prize I mean kudi (plural). Who am I kidding, that will never happen. Starting a blog is weird. Most people seem to pretend they've had a blog all along and just dive right in. I choose to point out how awkward it is. To each their own!

Anyway, groceries, laundry, calculus homework call. Puke.

Slow Death via Sore Thighs (Yeah, this Title Sucks)

So, remember that time I was spouting about all that b.s. about minimalist running not using a lot of quads? Well, that was dumb. I can now verify that it, in fact, uses quite a bit of thigh muscle. My 8 miles was a bit difficult. Also, Prospect Park is hilly.

Things started out fine. I was all bundled up...

Too bundled up, in fact. Sh-t got hot real fast. I'm sure people were wondering who can possibly sweat so much in 40-degree heat. Hi friends, I'm Jean.

and hopped on the G towards Prospect Park. For the first time in ages, the train was pretty much empty.

Hi shoes!

Then I started running, and from the first step, sh-t hurt. I kind of panicked and started making excuses like "well, the training plan only says 6 miles" (although I'm doing longer long runs to make up for only running 5 days a week) and "I'll just do 3 today and run long tomorrow..." Generally when I play mind games like this, I give up. But after some back and forth, I turned on one of my favorite podcasts, Jordan, Jesse Go!, and suddenly realized my legs didn't feel so bad anymore. I wasn't roaring along, but I wasn't dragging as- either. I ended up finishing with a 10:03 average, which I was more than happy with. I even got to take some time to enjoy the scenery, like this confusing set-up:

I think they're being a little optimistic about the weather.

Also, they save people who fall through the ice with ladders? Weird.

And then just a nice fall scene:

In the end, it was a very satisfying run. It was a major confidence-booster, and didn't even feel that hard after I got over my "oh God, I hope nobody sees me faceplant when my legs give out" mindset. I'm also glad 8 miles doesn't seem like a big deal anymore. Since I switched to minimalism and had to start from square one mileage-wise, I built up to 8 miles again only a month and a half ago, and at the time it was pretty rough because my body wasn't totally ready to handle it. But today, everything felt fantastic and I felt strong the entire way. Good job, me! Way to be positive (for once)!

I got back to my apartment after some subway shenanigans (I didn't realize the Metropolitan-Grand stop was the same as the Lorimer stop so I jetted all the way to Nassau/Manhattan and walked home) and bought a sandwich at Hanna Foods, one of the best sandwich places I've been to, probably ever. They also give their sandwiches ridiculous names like Kanye Interrupt, Nightman Cometh (any "It's Always Sunny" fans out there?), Meet the F-ckers, and Beeyoch Cafe, which is hilarious, especially when someone meek wants to order a "¡Your Girlfriend's a Whore!" (upside down exclamation point necessary). I bought a "Who Killed Gertrude Stein," which was oozing with hot turkey, swiss, bacon, avocado, and some other things I probably forgot. If there is a heaven, it is Hanna Foods. Of course, I ate the entire thing in 3 minutes flat, which may not have been a great idea. But whatever, at least I'll die happy.

Off to Christmas-ize my life!

On the Hunt, Gettin' Ripped

Well, last night was boring. And exciting, in an "ew, mice are taking over our apartment" kinda way. Okay, so just gross. The apartment isn't actually infested, but there's a little shit who hasn't figured out we're going to crush him if he doesn't ptfo. We first saw this thing a few weeks ago, and immediately bought a bunch of space-age mice-catching devices. One of them emits high-frequency squeals which supposedly scare the mouse away. We bought two. Our landlord also got us a couple of seriously intense rat catchers that use electricity to kill the little bastard (or huge bastard-this trap is enormous). We also bought a couple of those traps that close on the mouse so you don't have to actually see it (I know, I know, many would argue that we should have to see it if we killed it. I don't have an answer to that-mice are gross).

Well, to our dismay, this mouse doesn't give a shit. We don't see him often, once a week or so, but he always comes darting out of some invisible crevice and sprints out into the middle of the floor like little kids do when they suddenly decide to flee from their parents, and then we scream and it runs back into another crevice. It appears to know our apartment quite intimately. Last night was particularly fun, mostly because one of my roommates saw it run into our coat closet so I went in, moved some things around, and when I moved my suitcase the as-hole suddenly darted out and ran over my foot! I sound like such a wimp, but seriously, I don't do mice, especially not in my own apartment. I screamed bloody murder and it ran off. We (I) looked for it after that but couldn't find it. Shit. Well, as Russell Crowe once said, "I will have my revenge, in this life or the next." Minus all the "husband to a murdered wife, father to a murdered son" part. I'm not that crazy. But this thing is going down.

Apart from that, my night was pretty much a bust. I've put a temporary moratorium on Friday-night spending since, as I've mentioned before, I have a spending problem. I also figure that since I do long runs on Saturday I shouldn't be drinking on Friday anyway. So for at least the next few weeks, I'll be that crazy mouse lady spending her Friday night stroking her paper doll's hair.

In addition to stroking my paper doll's hair, I decided to do something crazy and pump some iron. If 5 pounds counts as iron. A while ago, I was looking at some blogs and read about this workout created by Lauren at healthontherun. She's wicked fast, so I decided I too would be wicked fast if I started doing this workout. She uses 10 pound weights, but she is obviously a bajillion times stronger than I am, so I went for 5 pounds. Well, I should have realized just how much stronger she is, because I attempted to do 20 reps of each exercise and barely even completed a whole circuit. Jesus. Christ. I must have no thigh muscle whatsoever. I've noticed that minimalist running uses a ton of calf and some hamstring, but hardly any quad, at least compared to other activities. My legs felt like jelly after the first circuit, so there was no way I was doing a second. This is something I am determined to work on.

Determined!

It was a truly inspired idea on my part to do this the night before my long run. It's only 8 miles, and like I said, I don't feel like I use much thigh muscle when I run, but this could be interesting. I think I'm going to hit up Prospect Park since I seem to be in some bizarro world where I wake up at 8:30 on a Saturday so I have the time. 1:00 is a more typical Saturday wake-up time, so this is truly strange. Wait, no it's not, I'm just not hungover! Kind of a great feeling, actually. Off to the Park!

Running as My Commute

Meant to blog last night, but I still haven't bitten the bullet and bought a new computer charger so have only been able to get my battery fix every once in a while when my roommate isn't using hers. I realized I have a serious money spending problem so have tried to rein in the spending, but unfortunately I've only been successful at not buying important things (battery charger, food, a mattress, to name a few...). Anyway, my computer had something like a 6% charge last night and I was rocking a bit of a buzz so blogging didn't happen. Something insane and monumental that did happen? The express train moved faster than the local. This is serious news, folks. A cold day in Hell, if you will. I also pulled the as-hole move of shoving half my body between the closing doors, thereby preventing them from shutting. What can I say? Blame the buzz. I have to admit it gave me kind of a rush (my life is so interesting). And big black marks on my shirt.

Speaking of my shirt, it's new (spending problem). Those cheap discount websites are like crack. I never used to buy clothes, but ever since I discovered them I've been on an endless spending spree. It's embarrassing actually, since my roommates are always the people to receive the packages so know how much sh-t I'm buying. I feel like a spoiled brat. But no worries, I don't really have enough money to buy these things. This is the semi-ridiculous trippy shirt I bought a while ago and forgot about until I found the package sitting outside my room:


I actually really like it, except the fact that it's so long (why does everyone do that?! I'm mostly looking at you, Lululemon. Not everyone has 40-foot-long torsos). The gnome-tree tumor thing was designed back in the sixties (duh). There were a couple of other shirts with different designs that I really wanted, but times are tough and sometimes you just can't afford another $10 shirt. Also, this shirt claims to be 85% polyester and 15% something else with a techie name. I call bullsh-t. It feels suspiciously like cotton, although I have to admit that the sweat dried pretty quickly.

Anyway, my commute home was ridiculous. I was wearing the clothes I ran in that morning


plus a black skirt. There was a time when I cared about looking New York-y, but that time is long gone. Now I'm full-on weirdo all the time. It draws some looks, but at least I'm not in the Vibrams anymore! Those really set people off. Even my friends. Especially my friends.

I did my 30-minute tempo run yesterday morning along the usual route (up 1st Ave, basically), and it went well. It's pretty nice when two-thirds of your run consists of a warm-up/cool-down. It felt good to push it, but only for a mile or so because let's face it, I don't like pain. It didn't feel good to have no idea how far I went and what speed I was doing it at. My phone better get its act together for tomorrow's 8-miler, although I can already say it won't. Damn you, logic!

I'm over the moon (is that the right expression? I suck at idioms) about the decreasing temperature. Finally, after probably 6 months of frying in hellish Hell-weather from Hell, I feel comfortable being outside. No joke. Heat and humidity rank right up there with, well, dying, as things I hate the most. Give me a choice between 30 below and 80 and I'll choose the former every time. You think I'm kidding, but I don't kid about things this serious.

As it gets colder, however, I'm encountering kind of a unique problem, mainly my commute home. I love the cold, don't get me wrong, but I'm not superwoman (although maybe someday I'll change things up and try to rock this look). I won't always be able to walk to the subway in a tank top. At some point, I will feel cold. Very cold. But since I use my morning commute to do my run, I can only carry whatever fits in my tiny backpack,

I thought that arrow would be more obvious.

which tends to be my work clothes and not a warm and sensible jacket. I could bring a stash of jackets to work on Monday, a rest day, but I only own two jackets, one of which I have to wear home Monday. So I guess that leaves me with nothing. I'm so glad I could talk through this with myself. All you Russians from domar.ru, any suggestions? Any future readers? Does anyone else deal with this? There is about a .00001% chance of me doing my morning run and then commuting, so I need to find a way to make this work.

The super secret awesome Mike Birbiglia/Ira Glass movie I watched Wednesday night made it into Sundance! Congratulations to them!

Apparently one of my roommates has a mega-Christmas day planned tomorrow, so I need to start drumming up some festiveness. I'm wearing a green sweater today, so I guess that works.

-Jeano