Tuesday, August 13, 2013

This Hike Sponsored By Murphy's Law

Monday workout: 4 miles on the treadmill, socks, 11:30 average
Tuesday workout: hike

Today's hike was a doozy. The bad doozy, not the good doozy. Because doozy means both really good AND really bad. English makes no sense. Anyway, I took the ol' ball and chain (my mongrel, Bailey) for a hike and we Murphy's Law'd the shit out of it (literally). Let's count the ways:

1) Bailey disappeared for, like, thirty seconds and came back full of porcupine quills. I definitely didn't see that one coming! Fortunately, she was totally fine. It hardly even seemed to register. She sat calmly while I pulled them out and seemed bored by the whole thing. I got stuck with a few, though, so I was NOT bored by the whole thing.

It must have been a smaller porcupine because I remember seeing a neighborhood dog get quilled once (is "quilled" a word?) and the quills were next to impossible to remove. It looked incredibly painful. Bailey's weren't deep and came right out. And NO I DIDN'T TAKE ANY PICTURES. Who do you think I am?

2) When we started, it was beautiful out. Ten minutes after we started, a thick fog rolled in. Fog is cool and all, but I really wanted to get some views. View fail. Also trail fail, because I could barely see where we were going.


This is from a previous hike at the same place, but fog is fog.

3) Bailey disappeared into said fog for a long time and I was flipping out. She ran off to chase something or other and I was terrified she wouldn't be able to find her way back.

4) Bailey finally returned... covered in bear shit. My dog is REVOLTING. I can't even say any more about that except that I took her to get groomed this past weekend. I think this was payback. It took a good half hour to wash her (wearing surgical gloves) when we got home.


Bad dog.

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All you power jammers do yourself a favor and listen to this. This would be a killer song to run to.

Question:
  • What's the dumbest thing your pet's ever done?

12 comments:

  1. Awe, Bailey. First a porcupine then bear shit? Really, Bailey? Shrek and Lemon say "Oh boy, I bet it was fun!" These two prefer skunks to porcupines.

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    1. A skunk would have been waaaaay worse. I think I would have passed out on the ride home from that double whammy!

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  2. For whom was grooming Bailey payback? It seems like it can be payback only for the unfortunate groomer. Your dog is ridiculous.

    I've never really had pets besides fish (grandparents don't like creatures underfoot - not sure how they dealt with six of us grandkids). But I did assist my dad on emergency fish-louse extraction - I held the fish down covered with a wet towel while he removed the lice with tweezers. (Er, don't Google fish lice.)

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    1. I'm pretty sure the payback was meant for me, because she really didn't want to get groomed.

      I will most definitely NOT be googling that!!! I can imagine, though...

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  3. woooow. I guess with wild trails and photos, comes wild stories like this. Bear shit... Bad yogi!

    I only have a cat... He spends most of his time running away from my kid. But he will puke on my bed or our small carpets rather than the hardwood floor... evil cat

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    1. Ahahaha, cats are the worst. Except when they're not, I guess. I have an irrational hate for the idea of cats, but I'm usually fine with them when I'm around them.

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  4. Omg....bear poo? That's crazy! You live in the most amazing place.

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    1. You're right about it being amazing! My dog, on the other hand...

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  5. Oh Bailey, way to demonstrate Murphy's Law to the max. My dogs do a lot of dumb things. But not porcupine or bear shit-related. Hank has a thing about no one except my husband being allowed to wear a hat or sunglasses. Anyone who does gets growled at. The same goes for anyone who is carrying an umbrella or a beach chair. You can imagine how fun walking him at the beach was.

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    Replies
    1. What?! Those are such random things to not tolerate. Hat or sunglasses? That's hilarious. My old dog in high school used to growl at men (she was a rescue dog and obviously had a pretty traumatic past), but nothing so specific as that!

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  6. Bahahaha. That sucks.

    Indy was so lucky when he got quilled (totally a word) on our hike in CO in July. I have seen horror photos on the internet!

    Also, a dog covered in bear shit..I actually laughed out loud. Zach was just complaining about Indy smelling from swimming in the creek where I do my trail runs...don't worry, I'll show him this to make him feel better =).

    Cooper's afraid of the outside...that's fun.

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