Mayor's Marathon: Then vs. Now

Wednesday workout: 12 miles with 10 tempo (9:30), old Pace Gloves

Thursday workout: 6 miles, 10:50 average, new Pace Gloves!

Yesterday's tempo was brutal. It was really, really hot, I was directly in the sun the entire time, I was bitten to hell by mosquitoes (and probably swallowed a few), and I didn't drink as much water as I probably should have because I needed my supply to last the entire 12 miles. But I managed to finish, as I always do, and it was my very last "SOS" workout of this training cycle! Can I get a hoo-rah?! I'll wait while you hoo-rah.

...

Did you hoo-rah? My legs actually felt almost completely recovered for today's 6 miles, when I ran in my new shoes and generally looked like a fool. Think bright orange shoes, bright pink/orange trim shorts, bright blue shirt, light blue sports bra, and silver sparkly headband. So, like, the complete opposite of what I wear in my non-running life. I'm not entirely sure how that mix of clothing made it into my bag, but I sucked it up and only had to deal with a few disapproving looks.

The new shoes performed great! I mean, they're identical to my other pairs so I expected nothing less, but it was nice to see they haven't changed radically (or at all) since I bought my last pair a year ago. Also, the traction is so great it almost feels like the shoes "stick" to the ground when I walk around in them.

Pretty sights from today's run:

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I thought it would be fun to take a trip down memory lane and revisit my last Mayor's race (the half). It was (after the fact) a hilarious and painful experience during which I managed to break every single running rule like the amateur I was. 

I think this story is most effectively told as a list of race day DON'Ts with suggestions for what to do the second time 'round.

1. DON'T sign up for a race you're not remotely prepared for.

I swear I planned to train for this race. If intent determined outcome, I totally would have won. I really, really thought I was going to train properly. But I didn't. I can't really remember why, except that I had no idea what "training" for a half marathon entailed and I was often too tired from chasing kids around all day (camp counselor) to actually run.

FIX: TRAIN PROPERLY. Nailed it.

2. DON'T walk six trillion miles the day before the race, stay out late dancing, and have a shot of whiskey (which you despise) at 2:00 am to prove you're not square.

Self-explanatory.

FIX: DON'T BE A DAMN FOOL.

3. DON'T race when you're sick. Also, don't stay out until 2:00 am when you're sick.

The bulk of my training was pathetic, and the last of my training was nonexistent, with the exception of my next DON'T. I had been sidelined by a cold for the previous week and a half and hadn't run at all. I actually wasn't even planning to run the race but my mom had told her entire office I was racing and they were eager to know how I did. Basically, she shamed me into it.

FIX: let's hope this isn't an issue this time around.

4. DON'T run a hard interval workout the day before a race because you think that's what "running some short strides" means.

I read somewhere that fast people run some at race pace the day before a race. I interpreted that as "run a few 800 meter repeats as fast as you possibly can until you can't do anymore."

FIX: stick to the plan.

5. DON'T try anything new on race day, like eating a hardboiled egg for breakfast.

I read somewhere that fast people eat protein. Eggs have protein. I hated hardboiled eggs at the time and only managed to finish half of it. I was extremely nauseous.

FIX: pancakes with peanut butter on race day (yes, I'm still eating pancakes for breakfast).

 

There's that offensive egg.

6. DON'T GO OUT TOO FAST. If you've barely trained, DON'T THINK you are going to PR.

Yep. I really wanted to break two hours. I blazed through the first eight miles. I spent more time walking than running the last five.

FIX: duh. Control yourself, you animal!

7. DON'T shove random insoles you bought at the store into your shoes on race day because someone told you insoles make your body feel better.

Running in normal shoes killed my hips. These made them worse. My hips were screaming for days after.

Barely upright.

FIX: don't shove random things in your shoes.

8. DON'T DIE

Okay, I didn't die. But I thought I was going to. Instead I smiled painfully.

Kill me. Now. Just do it. But not before I eat that strange gentleman's cookie.

So there you have it. Let us hope that remains my second-to-worst race (we can save the worst for another day). In fact, four out of the six halfs I've done have been torture because it took me so long to learn from my mistakes.

Demand:

• Gimme your DON'Ts (and your fixes)!