My Sports-Related Gift

This year's Christmas haul was insane because my parents are insane. Every year I tell them I don't want anything and yet every year I find myself almost literally swimming in gifts, a la Scrooge McDuck. Really tough life over here.

Anyway, this blog claims to be sports-related when I bother to do sports-related things so I figured I'd tell you about my sports-related gift: Yurbud Headphones!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

DISCLAIMER: THESE HEADPHONES WERE GIVEN TO ME FOR FREE BY MY PARENTS. I DID NOT AND WOULD NOT PAY MONEY FOR HEADPHONES I DON'T NEED.

I didn't want new headphones for Christmas. I have three pairs of Apple earbuds from various electronic purchases over the past few years and they work great (and stay in my ear while running). I don't ask a lot from my headphones. I'm not looking for an "audio experience" or whatever; I just want to be able to hear my shit. Apple earbuds have performed exceptionally well in this regard. But hey, I didn't know I needed a Garmin until I got one of those, so there's hope yet!

This is how excited I was about my headphones. And no, I'm not the most miserable person on the planet. My mom just thinks it's funny when I scowl in pictures. She also can't get over the shiny patch on my forehead.

So let's talk about Yurbuds! First off: Yurbuds? That's a terrible name. Like, they're not my buds but yur buds? If we're being dumb and illiterate here, why aren't they ur buds or you're buds or thurrrrrr buds? Maybe it references some super-sporty tri thing I'm not cool enough to know about, but I think the company name blows.

Anyway, my thoughts, in order, as I examined my gift:

Oh, here's a picture so you know what I'm talking about, although... are those Apple headphones underneath? They might be. Picture taken from here - don't sue me for being too lazy to take my own

• What the f-ck? Why is the bud thing shaped so strangely and how is it supposed to fit in my ear?
• What's up with all this rubber? It's been three seconds and it's already covered in Bailey hair
• This cord is made of... string? I could Cat's Cradle with this thing
• I will now attempt to shove this strange contraption in my ear
• It doesn't fit in my ear - do I just push until it works?
• What the hell - I've been doing this for five minutes and have made no discernible progress
• ARE THESE EARBUDS MADE FOR MUTANTS?
• My ears are obviously deformed. Do I need to do something about that?
• Wait, I think I got - no, never mind, definitely not
• I give up

A few hours later, fueled by Christmas dinner...

• Okay, we're going to give this ONE MORE SHOT. If it doesn't work, they're going back to the mutant-infested pit they crawled out of
• Oh, THERE it is. Of course

So, yeah. Getting them in my ear was a struggle and it was frustrating. But now that I've figured that out (put them in sideways and twist!), they do seem pretty secure in my ear. So much so, in fact, that I kind of feel like my ear's going to rip off my head if the cord ever gets caught on something.

The sound quality seems pretty good too, if you're into that kind of thing, and the volume has a wide range. These get much louder than my other headphones. An example: I plugged them into my computer, un-paused the song I had been listening to with my Apple earbuds, and had to remove them immediately because it was so loud. This would be good in windy conditions as long as you're not in danger of getting hit by a car or whatever.

One more thing about the sound: when the volume's up really high, you can definitely hear what's playing from a distance. This is annoying if you're listening to, like, 98 Degrees and don't want anyone else to know.

I already mentioned that the cord is pretty whack, but I'm kind of obsessed with it. It is so unlike any other I've felt. I'd say it feels similar to a thin bungee cord except, obviously, it doesn't stretch. However, when the cord rubs against clothing, the sound travels up to your ears. This is annoying but not a deal-breaker.

So, bottom line: do you need to get yourself a pair? Absolutely not. But if your run-of-the-mill earbuds don't seem to stay in your ear, you might consider giving them a shot.

Update: it's come to my attention that these headphones cost something like $70. How?!?!???!?!?!?!?! For that price, no way. Not worth it.